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I got a call from Alan. He's in the Hamptons with Judge Ross. He fired me from the firm to keep me safe safer. God, I bought it too...I went to his place to apologize, thinking that I'd let down the only person to be a friend to me in years. He was surprised and relieved to see me. It was all an act, but I still hate the idea of him being with -her- on vacation, the fucking bitch who attacked me. I bet he's going to sleep with her too. I know he cares about me, but he has to make up for the weakness he showed in hiring me to begin with. They're all sharks, and there's blood in the water.

i don't know if he's realized yet, but this is a new problem. When I was at the firm, he could at least watch out for me, most of the time. Now, he won't be seeing me at all. It's not like I can walk into the firm now. If anybody finds out we're still seeing each other, it won't be hard to figure out why he fired me, and then we're no better off than we were before. I wish I didn't need him to protect me, that I could be his equal instead of his ward....maybe then he'd love me too.